Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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