i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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