You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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