My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
