Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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