New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
