and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
