I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize