While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
