OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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