were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
