i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
birth control should be required to get into college
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
