The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
