I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
