wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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