she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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