I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
