I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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