Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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