Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
