she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
