All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
