it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
