the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
