wrigley field is MILF paradise
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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