No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
