Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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