At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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