you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
