yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
is that a dick in a sweater?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
