My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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