Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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