So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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