Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
