you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
