Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
