Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Holy shit dude........stairs
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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