I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
did i just pee glitter
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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