I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
