and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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