He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he fucked my hip out of place.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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