too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
this must be what syphilis tastes like
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
