i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
