If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
