He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize