I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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