thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
