so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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