I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
