How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
