I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
