absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We talked him into tasing himself.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize