yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
