TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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