i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
