do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
