now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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