he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
