Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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