My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
do herpes really smell.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
