foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
