as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I'm really busy with my period
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