By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
