i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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