I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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