This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
