Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize